We esteemed and honorable ones are gathered here today to take action to preserve freedom and democracy. There is a dangerous dictator loose upon the planet that is attacking his own people with fighter planes, guns, tanks, bombs and tear gas that many of us assembled here today supplied him with. He once was our friend, but now, he is an enemy. We must protect freedom, no matter the cost. (a massive round of applause ensues, and the speaker continues)
I see, by the applause, the arms makers, and the arms sellers and buyers in our midst realizes this defense of freedom and democracy is good for business and the economy. It is also good for any of us running for re-election. There is nothing like a good war to energize the masses. But, I digress. The important thing to remember is that we are all in favor of human rights, and hopefully our values are out there for all to see. There can be no compromise where freedom is concerned, even though some say we are hypocrites who have propped up this and other dictators for years. Still, I am sure, the friendly dictators in our midst will agree, one must talk freedom, even as our hypocrisy nearly chokes us, oops, what am I saying. Anyway you all know what I mean. B.S. baffles brains as the saying goes. In fact, one must believe in freedom, when the people are demanding it. Though, sometimes they have to be suppressed, oops, I mean, even though freedom can be a pest. But hey, who ever said running a democracy was easy. (Another wave of applause erupts amongst the assembled, eminent persons, honorable ones, dictators and despots, sex addicts, liars, B.S merchants etc. that make up the international community. The speaker continues.)
Now, where was I? Oh yes, I was talking about democracy and its importance to society. Importance indeed! That’s why we have unelected Human Rights Commissions. In fact the dictator who used to be our friend, but is now our enemy had a representative, as “chair’ on an international “human rights council.” Still, that was in friendlier days, and you know what happens when friends fall out. We start a war, pardon me, I mean a fight for freedom and democracy with all the weapons at our disposal.
Talking about weapons, this will be an interesting little war. We will be firing our weapons at our old friend and he will be firing back at us with the weapons we supplied him with. Wow, isn’t that something. I wonder if that gives new meaning to the saying “friendly fire.” Oh well, at least we leaders of the international community won’t be in the front line. We will be leading from the safety of the rear as always.
Still, all in all, this latest little war of ours is perhaps a blessing in disguise as the saying goes. It helps our people forget about the world recession and the financial fraud on Wall St and other places. In fact, out of evil we can extract some good. Perhaps we should float the idea of an international freedom tax to save the peoples’ everywhere. I believe this is an idea whose time has come. Who will pay for the tax? The people themselves of course they always pay for our guidance and leadership. (A huge thunder of applause is heard and a standing ovation ensues from the assembled herd of leaders whose main expertise in life is taxing their people.) Now let me say one final thing in closing, we are a community of leaders and if we did not lead who would? The people are incapable of governing themselves therefore we in the international community must do it for them under the banner of a new world order.
Stephen J. Gray
March 20, 2011.