It was parliamentary Motion day in the Animal Parliament and
all the animals were eager to get started. Especially as they were all being
filmed for Animal T.V. (ATV) They all preened and clucked, some barked, others
chirped at each other and a pit bull snarled at those who mocked it. Eventually
they were all called to animal order by the speaker who was one of the most
respected animals: a barnyard parrot.
“The first animal
motion to be voted on in our order paper today is: ‘When does animal life begin, Motion 123’ and should we discuss
this important issue?” squawked the Parrot speaker as it shook its plumage and
opened its beak in a birdlike smile. “But before we start on this important
vote: are their any statements of animal wisdom?” Immediately, there was a flurry of barking,
clacking, whining, screaming, braying and other assorted noise from the various
animals that had words of animal wisdom to impart. “I see,” said the speaker, “we have a number
of animals who wish to give us some beastly wisdom; therefore, the most
important beasts will be first to speak, starting with the Most Honourable Portly
Pig.” “Respected Speaker,” said Portly
Pig, “I believe it is very unfortunate that this motion has even been allowed
to be on the order paper. I am also very upset that this motion comes from one
of my party members of the Conservative Animal Party (CAP). I will try to get
my animal members to vote against it.” With that Portly Pig sat down on his
plump posterior on the barn floor, which functioned as the Animal Parliament’s
place of respect.
Next animal up was the Honourable Noisy Pit Bull, it stood
up on its hind legs and snarled and barked in dog language. “What the heck is
going on, I don’t need to know when animal life begins, that’s why we are all
stupid animals.” Most of the animals whined, screamed, clacked and clucked
appreciation on hearing this wisdom from Noisy Pit Bull and one even attempted
to nuzzle the dog. Others attempted some animal applause by banging their tails
on the barn floor. Order, order squawked the speaker who was a Parrot of
respected lineage and even knew some human words.
Next up was the Most Honourable Socialist Monkey of the
Socialist Animal Party (SAP). “Why are we even discussing this animal nonsense
chattered the Socialist Monkey? This kind of proposed discussion is an insult
to female animals of all kinds and could intimidate them from having free
choice in Animal Land. This is a plot of the CAP to
undermine Reproductive Animal Rights.”
“Well said,” screeched Glibby the Goose a notable member of
the SAP. “Order, order, order,” screeched the Parrot Speaker from its perch on
top of the barn door.
Next up was Most Honourable Slippery Snake of the Liberal
Animal Party (LAP). A well respected slippery creature which moved easily from
one party to another. “This matter has already been decided” said Slippery
Snake. “Reproductivity is a private
matter and we must not violate privacy by attaining information that might
cause us to think.” And with that the snake slithered back to its favourite
hole in the barn.
“It is now time for the vote. ‘On when Animal Life Begins, Motion 123’” said the Parrot Speaker.
The Vote then went ahead and after a short time the Parrot announced
the results.
“This Animal Parliament has decided against finding out when
animal life begins. We are just ignorant and stupid animals and we do not need
to know about our life beginnings. It is better than we remain dense, silly and
unaware and go about our daily business in the parliamentary barnyard as
ignorant animals. We are only beasts, secure in our stinking existence amongst
the manure we produce. Therefore, this Animal Parliament has spoken and its
animal brains cannot be filled with information that might make us think and reason
and bring in laws. Animal Parliament is now adjourned for today.”
On hearing this animal wisdom from the Parrot speaker, the
Animal Parliament erupted in a noisy self congratulation of screaming, barking,
hissing, whining, cackling and braying. And the animal members of the CAP, LAP
and SAP parties all congratulated each other on being honourable animals of
distinction in the Animal Parliament.
Stephen J. Gray
November 1, 2012.
