A Thank You to Friends from High in the Sky
(Satire) by Stephen J. Gray
As I fly through the air for another visit to other countries, and rack up the air miles, I am quite happy to be on my way again. It will be nice to get away and not answer any questions about the distraction of the so-called senate scandal. As you know, I promised Senate reform some time ago, but a thought just came to me, who needs it now? We have a majority in the Senate, and I appointed a whole bunch of the gang, oops I mean honourable ones. And I could appoint more at my leisure, so why interrupt a good thing that works? Still, I want to thank all you true believers, for your support during these trying times. It really was heartening the way all of you cheered, applauded, and shook my hand after my speech on accountability, before leaving. On an unhappy note; there was a few dismaying incidents after my speech, where some of the media tried to get me to answer questions. Can you believe these guys, I invite them into my hallowed chamber to listen to my speech on accountability and transparency and they have the cheek to shout and yell questions at me? No more invites for them if they cannot behave when I am at the podium.
The Senate expenses hassle is really a storm in a teacup as are the complaints about a $90,000 check cut to aid a senator friend. Friends always help friends and we did. What is wrong with that? You would think a bank had been robbed with all the publicity this act of kindness is getting. Still, we will soldier on despite all the slings and arrows aimed at our accountable and transparent government. Just look at all the good things we have done. We got two pandas on loan from China and signed a strategic partnership with the communist dictatorship. We sealed the Nexen deal and handed over some of the country’s resources to a Communist State Owned Enterprise. I have always said I am in favour of free enterprise and the free market and this deal proves it! I went to Davos and told all the elites we were going to raise the Old Age security to 67 years of age. I did not do that in parliament first because I wanted to show the big boys, leadership in action. What could be better than that? Still some in the negative media are making a big deal about the $90,000 check, and the, “$3.1 billion missing in anti-terror funds,” that my government can’t locate. Hey, it’s only money and it is in the system somewhere, so what’s the big deal? As I write this note, in the sky, I am on a high. (did I just make a pun?) I think of all you wonderful true believers out there. No matter how much I suppress your freedom of speech and expression you still do what you are told, and as I mentioned earlier you all gave me a big round of applause after my speech this morning. Some even patted me on the back and shook my hand, before I took off for my plane journey overseas. What a send off. It was an amazing show of servility and sycophantic subservience, oops I mean support.
No doubt some of the cynical critics are saying, “What a grovelling gang you all are.” I say you are wonderful bunch of supporters who will do and say anything for me. Your loyalty brings tears to my eyes, up here in the sky, hey I am a bit of poet and I did not know it. Just a little bit of levity to coax a smile from you all. Still, I will say this; I hope while I am away creating jobs, prosperity and helping our country’s economy that none of you will speak out of line. Think of me as your example, and do not answer any media questions. Anyway, I have left the “Pit Bull” in charge so he will look after you all. And Gordy the Whip-master can be depended upon to also keep you all in line. And don’t even think about bringing up that pesky abortion issue while I am away. It’s over kaput, dead, just like the 491 dead babies I don’t want to talk about, who survived abortions and were left to die.
Anyway, hopefully the senate scandal will be a dead issue when I get back. If not I may have to prorogue parliament, that should shut them all up. They won’t have a platform if the House is shut down. Then we can all enjoy summer in peace.
Thank you all,
Your Faithful and Accountable Leader.
Stephen J. Gray
May 22, 2013.
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