Dear Comrades of the Conservative Party of Canada (CPC). This is my second letter to you.  How are things in Panda Land? Panda-ring well I hope. Hey, just a silly pun on our loan of two pandas to you; anyway, on to my reason for writing.
As a good communist of the Communist Party of China (CPC) and supporter of our State Owned Enterprises (SOEs), I wish to thank you for approving one of our SOEs. I hear it passed your “net benefit” test with flying red colours. We are so grateful in the communist party that your great leader and Chairman did allow some of your country’s resources into our hands. I liked the way he did it, without any input by the people or your parliament. We operate the same way in our Politburo so our “strategic partnership” should be beneficial to all the elites concerned. I would also like to thank the business leaders and many of your media propagandists in your country who supported this deal between capitalism and communism. One clever fellow even said it was “no big deal.” He obviously appreciates how we run our country.
Many of these people would make good communists. In fact your media propagandists, just like our state-owned media, are quite similar in many ways. Ownership is in a few hands and they parrot some of the same views we do. I especially like your Irrational Post, the Glib and Mail, and the Red Star. I hope I got their names correct; if not I sincerely apologise. I believe that old saying is very true: “birds of a feather flock together”—though we are not birds, but all comrades together bound by our common greed; pardon me, I mean need. We need your resources and you need our communist money. Some people say “bloodstained money is the root of all evil” but they are just losers who do not like imposed order. In an ordered society the masses must be ruled with an iron fist and your Chairman, just like our famous Chairman Mao, does not allow dissent in his party. Nor does he like it in his country.
I know there are some in your country who babble on about the lack of human rights in my country and the use of torture, slave labour and forced abortions, as well as our one child policy. But it is no good the kettle calling the pot black, as the saying goes. You also have your ugly side. There was an article that said about your country, “Canada’s official statistics agency has confirmed that 491 babies died after they were born alive during abortions…”  And your country even gave its highest award to an abortionist. In fact, your country does not even wish to discuss “when human life begins.” And your great leader and Chairman voted against finding out when life begins. He obviously prefers to be ignorant rather than informed. But hey, great leaders are allowed to be ignorant; that’s why leaders are great. Still, the people need to be re-educated on the facts of life, and that wisdom always comes from the great Chairman. Politics and business are above the concerns of the masses, and monetary power and political power go hand in hand. Ethics, principles, morality and human rights have no place in a “net benefit” test, that’s why we have re-education camps in our country.
Now that we are going to be firmly ensconced in your country we could help your great leader and Chairman set up some re-education camps if he so wishes. After all, he did at one time criticize us, but did see the error of his ways, so obviously he had a great conversion to our system and now we are classed as a “friend” and “ally.” So you see, villains can become virtuous if the right propaganda, oops I mean attempts, are made to give them respect. Does that make sense? Anyway, it doesn’t really matter we are all in bed together now, a ménage a trois of politicians, Big Business, and Media. A threesome of communism, capitalism and propaganda joined together to support and promote each other in a world of hypocrisy and deceit. I hope I am coming across like a true communist. Or as one of your respected business leaders once said, “now we can get down to business.”
In closing, I must say I am very impressed with most of your propagandists; pardon me, I believe you call them journalists. Most of them promoted our State Owned Enterprise (SOE) having access to your resources. In fact, one journalist inferred that those who opposed it were hypocrites. This is the kind of rhetoric we like to use in the communist party against those who dissent. It is gratifying to see your propagandists act the same way. This is very good and helps to confuse the reality of what is really going on: our takeover of some of your resources and part of your country. As I said earlier, many of your promoters of our SOEs would make good communists. And as good communists we censor the internet in our country. I see it has been reported in your country that you are also trying to censor information:
“NDP MP Charlie Angus said it is disturbing the government is forcing internet companies to remove content, saying it is the kind of thing usually done by authoritarian regimes.” 
Anyway, as the season of goodwill and happy holidays approaches, this Comrade of the CPC wishes the Comrades of the CPC in Canada a Happy Comrades Season. The same applies to your Big Business Comrades and your media propagandists. May we all prosper in our “strategic partnership” and perhaps our countries some day could merge and become one big State Owned Enterprise (SOE). We could call it CanChin or ChinCan; anyway, that is just a thought. But who knows what may happen down this “strategic partnership” road.
Yours in Solidarity: A CPC comrade.
Stephen J. Gray
Previous Correspondence between Comrades at link below
Articles of interest at links below: