Dear Comrades of the Conservative Party of Canada (CPC).
This is my second letter to you. [1]
How are things in Panda
Land? Panda-ring well I
hope. Hey, just a silly pun on our loan of two pandas to you; anyway, on to my
reason for writing.
As a good communist of the Communist Party of China (CPC)
and supporter of our State Owned Enterprises (SOEs), I wish to thank you for
approving one of our SOEs. I hear it
passed your “net benefit” test with flying red colours. We are so grateful in
the communist party that your great leader and Chairman did allow some of your
country’s resources into our hands. I liked the way he did it, without any input
by the people or your parliament. We operate the same way in our Politburo so
our “strategic partnership” should be beneficial to all the elites concerned. I
would also like to thank the business leaders and many of your media
propagandists in your country who supported this deal between capitalism and
communism. One clever fellow even said it was “no big deal.” He obviously
appreciates how we run our country.
Many of these people would make good communists. In fact
your media propagandists, just like our state-owned media, are quite similar in
many ways. Ownership is in a few hands and they parrot some of the same views
we do. I especially like your Irrational Post, the Glib and Mail, and the Red
Star. I hope I got their names correct; if not I sincerely apologise. I believe that old saying is very true: “birds
of a feather flock together”—though we are not birds, but all comrades together
bound by our common greed; pardon me, I mean need. We need your resources and
you need our communist money. Some people say “bloodstained money is the root
of all evil” but they are just losers who do not like imposed order. In an
ordered society the masses must be ruled with an iron fist and your Chairman,
just like our famous Chairman Mao, does not allow dissent in his party. Nor
does he like it in his country.
I know there are some in your country who babble on about
the lack of human rights in my country and the use of torture, slave labour and
forced abortions, as well as our one child policy. But it is no good the kettle
calling the pot black, as the saying goes. You also have your ugly side. There
was an article that said about your country, “Canada’s official statistics agency
has confirmed that 491 babies died after they were born alive during
abortions…” [2] And your country
even gave its highest award to an abortionist. In fact, your country does not
even wish to discuss “when human life begins.” And your great leader and Chairman
voted against finding out when life begins. He obviously prefers to be ignorant
rather than informed. But hey, great leaders are allowed to be ignorant; that’s
why leaders are great. Still, the people need to be re-educated on the facts of
life, and that wisdom always comes from the great Chairman. Politics and
business are above the concerns of the masses, and monetary power and political
power go hand in hand. Ethics, principles, morality and human rights have no
place in a “net benefit” test, that’s why we have re-education camps in our
country.
Now that we are going to be firmly ensconced in your country
we could help your great leader and Chairman set up some re-education camps if
he so wishes. After all, he did at one
time criticize us, but did see the error of his ways, so obviously he had a
great conversion to our system and now we are classed as a “friend” and “ally.”
So you see, villains can become virtuous if the right propaganda, oops I mean
attempts, are made to give them respect. Does that make sense? Anyway, it doesn’t really matter we are all in
bed together now, a ménage a trois of politicians, Big Business, and Media. A
threesome of communism, capitalism and propaganda joined together to support
and promote each other in a world of hypocrisy and deceit. I hope I am coming across like a true
communist. Or as one of your respected business leaders once said, “now we can
get down to business.”
In closing, I must say I am very impressed with most of your
propagandists; pardon me, I believe you call them journalists. Most of them
promoted our State Owned Enterprise (SOE) having access to your resources. In
fact, one journalist inferred that those who opposed it were hypocrites. This
is the kind of rhetoric we like to use in the communist party against those who
dissent. It is gratifying to see your propagandists act the same way. This is
very good and helps to confuse the reality of what is really going on: our
takeover of some of your resources and part of your country. As I said earlier,
many of your promoters of our SOEs would make good communists. And as good
communists we censor the internet in our country. I see it has been reported in
your country that you are also trying to censor information:
“NDP MP Charlie Angus
said it is disturbing the government is forcing internet companies to remove
content, saying it is the kind of thing usually done by authoritarian regimes.”
[3]
Anyway, as the season of goodwill and happy holidays
approaches, this Comrade of the CPC wishes the Comrades of the CPC in Canada a Happy
Comrades Season. The same applies to your Big Business Comrades and your media
propagandists. May we all prosper in our “strategic partnership” and perhaps
our countries some day could merge and become one big State Owned Enterprise (SOE). We could call it CanChin or ChinCan; anyway, that
is just a thought. But who knows what may happen down this “strategic
partnership” road.
Yours in Solidarity: A CPC comrade.
Stephen J. Gray
December 7,2012.
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