Being somewhat unsure of where to visit for my
annual vacation, I consulted a friend who told me: “You must visit Nonsenseland.
It is a place of tolerance, diversity, and equality, has many strange customs
and is a land where new rights are created almost daily.” I had never heard of
this place. But I decided to go to broaden my knowledge.
My first day in Nonsenseland I decided to visit
its capital city, a lovely place called Awtuhwuh. This city was the seat of the
ruling powers in the country. I visited their House of Power which was situated
on a hill. On entering the House of Power I was impressed by its feeling of
decorum and dignity. In the foyer of the house there was a press conference going
on. It appeared that some honorable members of the Upper Chamber had been
claiming expenses for residences they did not live in. These people were
lifetime appointees and obviously were confused over the words “principal
residence.” I also saw the Leader of the House of Power, a man who preached “accountability”
but voted against any debate on when human life begins. Who also had criticized
“gag laws” and was now attempting to gag his own followers. But hey, this is
Nonsenseland where ignorance rules!
My second day in Nonsenseland was spent in a
wonderful city called Torruntoe. There was much music in the air and a parade
was passing through the streets. I asked
a native of Nonsenseland, what is going on? This native appeared to be someone
of importance for he/she had lipstick and other makeup on his/her face, was
naked except for a leather thong and carried what appeared to be a short
leather whip. This native had the words “pride marshall” affixed to his/her hairy chest with
a sticker. This person told me this was a very important summer ritual in the
city and it was called the Parade of Prideful Ones.
I decided to watch from the sidelines. I saw
politicians, police in full uniform and a police chief marching in the parade.
There were also other eminent persons marching
as well. In the parade there were men dressed as women and women dressed as men
and others in various stages of undress of indeterminate gender. Others were
totally naked except for footwear. Others were dressed in what appeared to be
huge condoms. Some carried signs saying: “Don’t leer, kiss a queer” and some
were on bicycles with the slogan, “Dykes on bikes have special likes.” So I asked a native, “is cavorting naked and
making lewd gestures not obscene in Nonsenseland?” I received this reply, “Of
course not, this is part of Nonsenseland’s culture and heritage and it has
official approval and financing.”
On my third day in Nonsenseland, I decided to
go back to Awtuhwuh and visit their Court Building, the judicial workplace of the
Supremacist judges. I entered the Court Building and was struck with the
solemnity of it all. At that moment a lady, obviously a Supremacist judge,
passed by. She looked very, very dignified and attractive in her judicial
attire. I asked one of the security persons who the lady judge was. I was told with pride that she was Judge Dosy
and that she was a Bench-member of the Supremacist Court and was known for her
intelligence and landmark decisions, one of which was lowering the age of
consent to fourteen years of age for anal sex. I thought to myself: If this is the type of ruling that gets one
appointed as a Supremacist judge then they surely are scraping the bottom of
the toilet bowl in Nonsenseland. But not wanting to display any negativity on
this important landmark decision, I said to the security person, “Oh, what
wonderful credentials she has, to be on the bench. Nonsenseland residents must
be really proud of her.”
On display in the Supremacist Court building was
Nonsenseland’s “Charter of Righteousness,” everybody passing it bowed in
respect. Some even stood by it in silent prayer. It would appear this document
is the religion of Nonsenseland and that it had been handed down from a
Philospher King now deceased. I was told
by a native of the land that this Charter had magical powers that only the
Supremacist judges could invoke and that much magic had been performed since
the Charter’s inception. I asked about some of the magic. The native then said
that because of the magical Charter, men could marry men and women could marry
women, criminals in jail had the right to vote, a pervert’s work was classed as
artistic merit and that anyone arriving on Nonsenseland’s shores was
immediately covered by the Charter. “In fact,” said the native solemnly, “The
Charter of Righteousness is a ‘living tree.’” The native also told me that the
latest landmark decision by one of the respected Supremacist judges inferred
that, “truth was no defense” even it was the truth. I thanked the native for this incredible
information and concluded I was definitely in a strange land where nonsense is
indeed normal. Then I went back to look at this Charter of Righteousness. It
certainly did not look like a “living tree” to me. I thought to myself it’s
more like a piece of paper that one could use in a toiletry emergency. Still,
one must be respectful of another country’s beliefs.
On the fourth day I decided to attend an award
ceremony at one of the learned University’s in Nonsenseland. I was told this
gentleman receiving the award of an “honorary degree” from this university had
performed a service that benefited the human race. I asked what that service
was and was told this gentleman had devoted his life to serving “Choice.” I
asked what this choice was and was told it was a service of “reproductive
rights.” Then I realized that behind the nice sounding camouflaged words used;
this gentleman was an abortionist, and he made his living from killing the
child in the womb. He had also been awarded Nonsenseland’s highest honor for
his work on eliminating human life.
I was thinking Nonsenseland is a really weird
country when a bloody butcher is honored and given an award for killing the
innocent. Still, they have Human Rights Commissions in Nonsenseland so nonsense
must be legitimate. In closing, one must not be too critical of this land, as
nonsense, corruption, and depravity are classed as normal here and speaking the
truth is, or could be a crime.
I decided to end my tour after the end of the
fifth day in Nonsenseland. I had, had
enough of its culture, customs, honors and
justice and realized it was aptly named Nonsenseland.
Stephen J. Gray
March2, 2013.
