Thursday, March 5, 2015

The Final War Message

After destroying many countries around the world, killing and maiming millions, and with displaced millions in refugee camps, we have decided it is time for the final big blast. We have been contemplating it for some time and now we feel it is time for action. Those people around the world in the “civilized” countries who cheered our bloody illegal wars and invasions from their cozy and comfortable abodes will now get to feel devastation and destruction too. Though, surely they are unwilling participants?  What goes around comes around, as the saying goes. And this will be one big final round of missile madness. Our allies are all agreed that it is time to show we mean business, or to put it bluntly, nuclear business. I mean, what is the point in having these types of weapons of mass destruction, if we don’t use them? We believe the time has come to bring democracy to the whole world, and that we have a responsibility to protect freedom on this planet. Therefore, we your leaders, the generals, and our favoured sycophants, propagandists, bootlickers, flunkeys, along with many eminent persons, will lead this great and final war from our luxurious bunkers.
Some bunkers of our beheading dictatorship allies have been fitted out as luxury quarters, and I believe there will be accommodation for their harems. Other leaders’ luxury bunkers have different types of themes. We try to make them as comfortable as humanly possible. Rumour has it that one leader even has his bunker fitted out as a luxury broom closet. Another leader, I believe has a mini-golf course in his bunker. But hey, when you are as powerful as this guy, money and space is not a problem.

All the latest technology will be in the bunkers so that our great leaders around the world can converse and see the missiles flying back and forth. Some will even be able to push buttons in conjunction with our control centres around the world. Perhaps we might even have a contest as to who makes the most hits.  We know nuclear war is a serious business, but as one of our favourite marketers said, “It has to be fun as well.” These will be our real life war games. Meanwhile, the ordinary people everywhere will be the casualties, but hey there has to be losers in this game of life. Still, they get to pay for all this mayhem and madness, oops, I mean sadness, with their tax dollars. So they really are participants and will die for their countries. Surely that is a fitting tribute?

We all must pay tribute to our war ministers, oops I mean defence ministers and ministers of foreign affairs. These brave men and women, who never fight in any battles, are gung ho for this last big war. It is a great blessing to have them here with us all in our bunkers. Hopefully, we can strike some sort of medal for them. And let us not forget the brave servants of war who blindly follow orders and kill and bomb on demand.

When all this is finished, and it will be finished, oops I mean ended, hopefully we will be able to say from our bunkers,
 “We set the world on fire, created a massive funeral pyre. In the bunkers we survive: and millions are dead, but we are alive. Democracy and freedom has been saved, but we destroyed the human race.”

Stephen J. Gray
March 5, 2015.

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