The Bootlickers Report
(Satire) By Stephen J. Gray
Dear Friends,
This report is for those of you who may have missed the
latest news on the happenings concerning our Great and Supreme Leader. He had a
wonderful visit with the Queen in jolly old England courtesy of the peoples’
tax dollars. There is no truth to the silly rumor that he wants to be addressed
as His Highness when he gets back from his journeys. He then proceeded to France to meet
with the Socialist President. He sounded off in the media about the Greek
elections and the future of the global economy and had a message for European
leaders and urged them to act ‘decisively.’ Our supreme leader knows what is
best for democracy everywhere and does not hesitate to spread his knowledge.
In other news a motion on abortion was in the news here at
home. It is possible our great and
supreme leader could be angry over this and may vent his anger when he gets
back. I suggest all office chairs be removed from offices. We do not want
anybody being injured should some chairs be thrown around, just kidding of
course. Still, dissent has mostly been silenced and most of the boys and girls
of the party know their place in the scheme of things. Don’t speak until told
to do so.
Thank goodness we have Gordy the whip-master to handle some
of these miscreants who have the temerity to bring motions before parliament
that the Supreme Leader does not like. We also have backup, as the Supreme
Leader’s “pit bull” is always available to bark and snarl on cue. He is chewing
on a bone at the moment and feeling quite content. Though a bone of contention,
(is that a pun or what?) with some democracy proponents is the fact the “pit
bull” called communist China
a friend an ally. But hey, he is minister of foreign affairs and knows his
stuff. Still, I think he missed the supreme leader while he was over in Europe.
Meanwhile, there are some complaints about the Omnibus Bill
being rushed through parliament. Some noisy people are questioning its content
and want it broken up into separate pieces, so that all these different issues
can be debated separately. They call this democracy. Can you believe these
people? Don’t they understand democracy
is whatever the supreme leader says it is and he surely knows? There are also some complaints about
employment insurance changes. Some people don’t want to move to look for a job.
Well, isn’t that too bad! Times are
changing and we all must change with the times. No dissent will be allowed now
that we are running the show. Another complaint from enemies of the party was
the thousands of taxpayers dollars spent on limousines in Davos. Hey, when you are in power you have to move
in style, and Davos is style, that’s where the supreme leader announced changes
to Old Age Security to a meeting of billionaires. Still, some unhappy campers
think he should have announced this in Parliament first. But, these are just
the usual losers who whine about democracy.
Our great democratic leader learned a lot from his recent
trip to China,
they have a migrant workforce that follows the work and do as they are told. We
are going to have a “strategic partnership” with China. The old ways of doing things
are gone. Now capitalism and communism are birds of a feather, as the saying
goes. Anyway we are getting two pandas on loan to seal the deal, though some
cynical people are saying: “We are in bed with the Reds.” They just don’t
understand how partnerships’ and free trade work.
Talking about free trade the Supreme Leader is signing free
trade deals at a pace unrivalled anywhere. His pen is on fire, inking all these
deals. Still, some of the usual suspects are saying all this should be debated
in parliament. Yes, I know he trumpeted accountability. But hey, that was to
get the suckers, oops I mean people to vote for him. Still, they don’t get it the
supreme leader does not need parliament now that he has a majority. Others are
saying he is signing national sovereignty away. Sure, he is. He is on record as
admitting to that. When you have power, you can do anything and anything is
possible from our Supreme Leader. I’ll close for now as my limousine is
waiting.
Sincerely Yours.
A. Bootlicker.
Stephen J. Gray
June 8, 2012.
