Thursday, March 12, 2009

Ballyhoo in Bali

Ballyhoo in Bali

Everybody who was anybody had come to the hot air of Bali. They had come to “save the planet.” They were all dedicated to cutting emissions by issuing emissions. They were dedicated to “green growth.” It was a gathering of “jolly green giants,” estimated in the thousands, all with “carbon footprints” in the Bali sands of time. All that was needed was a green national anthem, the “Green Green Grass of Home” perhaps? Still, these green people had all left home for the paradise of Bali to save the world. One would have thought a more appropriate country to hold their green talks would have been Greenland. But, I guess you can’t get a suntan there and beautiful Bali is a more comfortable climate for the world’s “leaders.”

Hearing most of the world’s “leaders” were in Bali was “good news” for the people at home. Now there was less political pollution and emissions, and hopefully the politicians and their camp followers might decide to stay there. Still, knowing that the politicians and their helpers were in “control” in Bali was surely “comforting” to all the masses. All the elites had arrived in jets leaving a trail of carbon emissions on their way. There were film stars, rock stars, political stars (only in their own minds) and just plain ordinary, starry-eyed, green, planet-savers, all here for the great gathering of the Greenies and for an emission-controlled world.

It was reported by an eminent emissionary that there was some discussion “whether emission cuts should be mandatory or voluntary.” No doubt they will be “mandatory” and those tax-paying serfs in the western world will pay the brunt in taxation. Taxing for a “green planet” is a green-sent slogan that no doubt the green politicians will use to tax the masses. They might call the tax “Benefits from Bali” or some other feel-good utterance, and tell us that we are all “moving forward,” or “going forward,” to the green promised land. Or as one newspaper reported, “The 15,000 delegates, lobbyists, protesters and hangers-on at the UN conference are leaving Bali with deep tans and an even deeper sense of their own rectitude.” No doubt all were praising the green man of our times Al Bore, oops, I mean Al Gore, who has been described as “Climate change’s single most important messenger to the world.”

Still, “messenger” Al’s green world is profitable for him, according to one newspaper: “Gore commands between £50,000 and £85,000 a speech…” on the green band-wagon. Al is on record as enlightening us with this gaseous green gem: “Without realizing it, we have begun to wage war on the earth itself…” Is this what is meant by a “war of words?” Al was also quoted in a newspaper as saying: “I am going to speak an inconvenient truth: my own country, the United States, is principally responsible for obstructing progress here in Bali,…” And that emission from Al got him a huge round of cheers and applause. This no doubt cheered everybody up, after seeing the sad spectacle of another important green man break down in tears at the thought of a green-challenged planet.

A final agreement was reached and the planet would be saved. All would now fly back home leaving a trail of carbon emissions and other droppings . Then, when, home they would report the great news to their populaces that they had saved the earth amidst much hot air and ballyhoo in Bali.

Stephen J. Gray
December 16, 2007.