Sunday, March 8, 2009

A Market Discussion By the “Financial Experts”

“Financial experts” have been telling us recently where “the market” is headed. The favorite words of the B.S. merchants (politicians included--listen next time you see or hear them) are these: “As we go forward,” or “Moving forward.” Here is some of their “wisdom” on “going forward.” But what does it all mean?

B.S.T.V. News interviews two financial experts on where the market is going:

Interviewer: “I have Charlie Con-them and Bertha Baloney from Offshore World Market Financial Services and Banking to help you invest in the new year. Charlie, where do you see or believe we are headed?”

Charlie Con-them: “I would say now is the time to buy as we go forward.”

Interviewer: “Why Charlie?”

Charlie Con-them: “This downward spiral, I believe, is nearing its lowest point; therefore, the only way to go is up.”

Interviewer: “That seems like a good point, Charlie, but is that necessarily true?”

Charlie Con-them: “In my view it’s true. You have to get the people back into the markets; being positive sells and the market needs and feeds off their money.”

Interviewer: “Charlie, you are a beacon of hope. Now over to Bertha: what’s your take on the market?”

Bertha Baloney: “There is a lot of negativity out there but this can be balanced by having a positive attitude to one’s losses as we go forward.”

Interviewer: “Are you telling the people who have lost money and whose investments and pensions have tanked to be positive then, as they go forward?”

Bertha Baloney: “That’s what I’m saying. Every downturn has an upturn. Moving forward is the only answer.”

Interviewer: “Wow! Well said, Bertha. I’m sure our viewers are pleased to hear that going forward is the solution. Charlie, can you give us a sense going forward of when the upturn will be?”

Charlie Con-them: “I see it happening right now, but it is an invisible rise that comes to fruition through confidence as we go forward.”

Interviewer: “So Charlie you would say going forward is important?”

Charlie Con-them: “Hell, if we can’t go forward where else can we go? We must go forward and move on to success.”

Interviewer: “Bertha, do you see us moving forward to success?”

Bertha Baloney: “Success is just around the corner. Therefore as we move forward it will meet us face to face.”

Interviewer: “Bertha, your financial wisdom never ceases to amaze me. So your message is this then: Success is staring us in the face going forward.”

Bertha Baloney: “Not only that, it is here. And it will take us forward into the future.”

Interviewer: “The future is going forward, as you say, Bertha. But do we learn anything by looking back? Anyway, what’s your take Charlie?”

Charlie Con-them: “My take has been exceptionally good. It’s the best year I ever had selling financial toxic paper, and getting huge fees for doing so ”

Interviewer: “Charlie, I meant your take on looking back.”

Charlie Con-them: Looking back, I would say this downturn has been good for us. I am taking a sabbatical in the sun and waiting for my next opportunity to consolidate my gains as soon as the stiffs, oops, I mean the players, get back into the market. But, I digress. governments have seen the value of the free markets and are now bailing them out. This should tell the people that their tax dollars are safe with us, as we move forward.”

Interviewer: “Spoken like a true financial expert, Charlie. What do you think Bertha?”

Bertha Baloney: “Government money is a boon to the markets, and at least we don’t have to worry about socialism. So, I say free markets and taxpayers’ money is a great combination; it’s a win-win situation for us. We must be forward-looking at all costs.”

Interviewer: “So what would you say to the losers out there, whose costs have been enormous?”

Bertha Baloney: “Cheer up. Have faith in the market; it needs your support at this time, as we travel forward.”

Interviewer: “Final word to you Charlie.”

Charlie Con-them: “I say let the marketplace decide and God Bless the taxpayers as we go forward.”

Stephen J. Gray
January 27, 2009.