Thursday, March 12, 2009

Orville the Outcast

Orville the Outcast

Orville wondered what was happening to his country. Had he become an outcast? He had tried to get involved in the democratic process by putting his name forward as a candidate for election. But had been refused. He asked why the refusal and was told he did not qualify for the percentage candidacy required in the democratic party. The reasons given: He was not a woman, or a lesbian. He was not trans-gendered, multi -gendered, bisexual, metro-sexual or homosexual. Nor was he height challenged, weight challenged, youth challenged or age impaired. Nor was he of minority status.

Orville wondered just what was his status in the land of today? Was he not fit for public office? Was he a pariah? How had this happened to him? Was there anyone who could help him or give him advice on this matter? A friend suggested he should go to the Human Rights Commissars (HRC) and inquire about his rights.

Orville phoned them and asked if he could make an appointment. He was asked, “did he have any special status in the community?” Orville replied, “what is that?”
“Are you from a designated, deprived, disenfranchised group” asked the HRC staff person. “What does that mean?” asked Orville. “Come in right away and see us, and we’ll explain,” said the HRC spokesperson, “and we’ll see if your case qualifies for a rights test.”

Orville was pleased, at last somebody would help him with his rights. He felt his faith in his democratic country was being restored. Orville drove down to the HRC building. It was an imposing place and looked very dignified. (as it should with all the taxpayers dollars that maintained it) He entered the building and approached one of the HRC staff. “My name is Orville and I have come about my case for a rights test.” “This way sir to the hearing room,” said the staff member. Orville entered the hearing room and noticed the slogan on the wall which said: “We’ll make rights for you. Provided you are the right person, to have rights.”

Just then a door opened in the wall of the HRC rights office and a person appeared of neutral gender. “You must be Orville,” said the pleasant person. “That’s right,” said Orville. “Welcome to the HRC,” said the rights person. “I am the duly appointed commissar of the rights division in this part of the country. How may I help you with your case regarding rights?”
“I believe my rights have been violated by my democratic party,” said Orville, “and I also feel discriminated against.”

“Wow, this sounds very serious,” said the HRC commissar. “We can’t have this happening in a free and democratic country. Can we? Tell me about it.”
“I wanted to run as a candidate for my democratic party but have been told I do not qualify,” said Orville. “What are the reasons given for refusing you?” asked the HRC commissar.

Orville replied, “I have been told I am not within the percentage quota for my constituency. I must be a woman, lesbian, gay, trans-gendered, multi-gendered, bisexual, trans-sexual, homosexual, multi-sexual or any other designated minority by my democratic party before I can run for office.” “Are you of any of the important aforementioned designations,” asked the HRC commissar. “No,” said Orville. “I am just an ordinary working guy with a wife and children. I go to church on a Sunday. Do volunteer work, have a mortgage, watch hockey and other sports. Contribute to charity. Do not receive any government grants, and want to be involved in the democratic process by running for public office in my democratic party.”

“I cannot help you.” said the HRC commissar. You are not a designated, deprived, disenfranchised person. Your case has no hope of being successful. Case dismissed.”

Orville left the building and headed home. He felt discriminated against and knew his rights had been violated. But this was “normal” in his country today. After all, he was, Orville the outcast.

Stephen J. Gray
November 26, 2007.